Rupak shivered to the bone after he came out of the car. During his drive, the automobile’s cosy interior had sheltered him from the mountain chill. But the evening’s dimness now kept increasing their bite. Outside, the wind howled like a grumpy demon. It nearly took him three hours from the Coimbatore airport to reach this hill station. The morning flight via Chennai had deposited him in Coimbatore around 3 p.m.
Once he carefully wrapped his coat around him, Rupak could gaze at the 19th-century Scottish villa that stood in front of him. The heritage lodge looked resplendent, awaiting his sojourn once again with all its memories. It seemed unchanged from the time when he visited with Jessica. Outside, the wind screamed in a murderous rage, mimicking his innermost gloom. Its heightened intensity carried the resonance of despair.
“Welcome, sir. I hope you had a pleasant drive.” The source of the voice was the property manager, who emerged just then out of his cabin. He was a handsome man of around thirty years. After shaking Rupak’s hand, he ordered the porter boy to pick up the luggage from the car. When he last visited with Jessica, this gentleman was not there. The new manager escorted him to his room following the introductions. “Sir, after you change, we will bring you some coffee and snacks.” The manager retreated after settling Rupak into the room.
Although he drove through some of the country’s greenest boroughs, Rupak felt jaded now. The journey brought back remembrances; stories from his past. He had not expected the memories to come rushing in so early. But the moment their car took off from the plains and moved onto the serpentine hilly road, a sense of despondency choked him. Their vehicle meandered through the deep mountains like last time, amidst thick shrubberies of eucalyptus, teak, pine, and others. The blue strobilanthes, vibrant and eternally poised, were also visible. A distinct smell of coffee could be felt once again in the atmosphere. Or did he imagine it? The surroundings made him flinch with pain. It seemed the mountains had covered themselves with melancholic verdure. But they might also give him hope. As they always did.
When Rupak got up early the next morning, the mist outside had covered the world. He did not feel energetic. A pain wrenched his heart the moment his eyes opened. It throbbed somewhere deep. The uncomfortableness seeped through his limbs, and he felt numb. The urge was not there to get up, but to sleep as long as possible. A torrent of memories also brushed through his mind.
A few months ago, his wife Jessica, while driving down to her office, met with an accident and passed away. She was working in a bank. By that time, they had been married for fifteen years. Rupak’s life came to a standstill from that moment. Initially, the grief did not make itself felt, and he remained numb. He moved like a robot, as if a zombie was on a prowl. In his forty years of life, a bigger tragedy had not struck.
Rupak’s background was one of pain and struggle. He was an orphan who was brought up by the church fathers. But because of his brilliant academics, he could eventually create a niche for himself. A plush job followed once he passed out of an Ivy League college. His profession also enabled him to buy an apartment and become independent. Then he met Jessica, and his life changed. The lonely life found a purpose. Even without a child, they were happy. A peaceful and calm life was suddenly disturbed by the violence of fate.
Once the grief lessened, a blind fury took root in his heart. An inexplicable hatred towards everything consumed him. “Why me? Why always me?” The questions were many, but the answers never came. Rupak understood the dark hand of fate would never allow him some happiness. He was probably destined to live a broken and lonely life. His days gradually became living hell as he started drinking heavily. His work suffered, and he couldn’t even sleep at night. Everything around him turned so dark that he was not able to distinguish day from night. His world became a living inferno.
After some time, unable to take it anymore, and also chided and prodded by his colleagues, he decided to take a vacation. A trip might bring him back to life. But he had no idea that he would come to this very place, the hill station, which carried their memories. They both loved mountains and often used to go on holidays. Ten years ago, both he and Jessica had enjoyed this place and returned home refreshed. The same heritage hotel even hosted them during that trip.
Rupak’s destiny brought him here. When he was planning to take this vacation, his heart involuntarily sought this place. He had an impulse to come here. Was it Providence? His destiny? The light that guided every good heart?
After settling down in this property, Rupak did not go out for a couple of days. He remained at the hotel with coffee and books. He needed some time to ruminate. On the third morning, the manager came to him again.
“Sir, would you like to go for some outdoor activities? There are many things to do here.”
“I would.” Rupak replied. “I haven’t told you yet that ten years ago, I was here and stayed in this very hotel. The manager back then was somebody else.”
“Wow, that’s wonderful, sir. Thank you so much for giving us a chance again to serve you. I hope you will enjoy this place again. I joined here a few years ago. Most of the staff here are new. There are now only a couple of employees who are old. They might recognise you, although we receive so many guests every season that it becomes difficult to remember. Would you like something, sir? We can arrange anything for you since you are our old patron.”
“Yes, I would like to go for a trek tomorrow to the Droog View point. Please arrange a nice guide for me. I don’t remember the name of the guide who took us there last time. I would be highly obliged if you could arrange one.”
“It’s our duty, sir. We have a fine guide. His name is Tony. He will accompany you tomorrow. At what time shall he call you tomorrow morning, sir?”
“Tell him I would like to start at 9 a.m. from the hotel.”
If Rupak could remember correctly, it would take them around half an hour to reach the spot from where the trek could begin. Yet again, he did not know why he chose to undertake this strenuous hike at the moment. He had been there with Jessica last time. They had walked for almost the greater part of the day to complete the trek back and forth. Of course, the hike might rejuvenate him, as the verdant coffee plantations and deep jungles did to them last time. But the memories could also haunt. He went with it, anyway.
The next morning, the hotel car took them to the spot from where they would embark. Rupak found the guide, Tony, to his liking. He was a young boy, barely twenty-five years old or even less. As they started on their journey, Tony made general chitchats. Rupak remained quiet. He looked around again in wide wonder and soaked himself in the undulating green. The chirping of the birds brought a soothing vigour. With every second, Rupak felt better, as the surrounding scenery kept on dazzling them. Sometimes, they came near a deep gorge that made them dizzy. At other times, they found themselves in the middle of a coffee plantation with its tranquil quietness. With every step, the elevation also increased, together with the chill and the wind. But the walk made them sweat, and as a result, the cold became tolerable. After an hour, around a bend, Rupak and his guide found another couple walking ahead of them. They were not accompanied by any guides. For a second, Rupak’s mind went back. He and Jessica back then, had found another lonely couple traversing the same path. What a coincidence!
As they got nearer, the couple heard their sound and looked back. Rupak was stunned to see that it was the same man from ten years ago. But the woman was different this time. Rupak had a photographic memory for which he was much appreciated at his workplace. He forgot nothing. He could never forget a face once he had spoken to them. During that hike, he and Jessica interacted with that couple for a brief time. But they had to overtake them soon, as the couple were so enamoured with each other that they barely talked. But Rupak remembered them clearly.
When both parties came close to each other, pleasantries were exchanged. Rupak found that the man had not recognised him. It was quite obvious. A gap of ten years was a long time. “I have probably changed a lot physically.” Rupak wondered. After the initial meetup, looking at the barren route and the perils that the surrounding jungles might bring, they all decided to walk together.
The trek exhilarated Rupak as he walked through the length and breadth of it. It also took their entire day. The view from the top mesmerised both parties. But as the mist descended pretty fast, they hurried back to their bases. When they were parting, the man gave his name as Roshan. He also introduced his girlfriend to Rupak. Upon chatting, he came to know that Roshan and his companion were staying at a place near his hotel.
“My lady doesn’t drink, and she likes to go to sleep early. Would you mind sharing a drink with me tonight? There is a nice bar just close by,” Roshan offered.
There was no reason to decline. There was nothing much to do in the evening at this hill station except to savour and enjoy the quietness of its surroundings. Rupak was also very intrigued by Roshan. He tried to remember the face of the lady who had accompanied Roshan last time. She was tall, lithe, and very fair. In addition, she was quite reserved and hardly talked. But the current one was just the opposite. She seemed chirpy and always ready with a smile. Roshan himself was a tall and handsome man, and his current ladylove was short and attractive.
The call from Roshan came to him at 8 p.m. They met at the bar half an hour later. Once Rupak stepped inside, he found Roshan waiting, already with a glass of whisky.
“Hey man, thanks for coming. What would you like to have?”
Rupak ordered rum and sat down to chat.
“I remember you from my last visit here. You came here along with a lady.” Roshan said.
A sudden snowstorm would not have surprised him more, as Roshan’s words did at that moment. “He did recognize me, but what a fine actor; he did now show it.” Rupak then told him that he too could recognize Roshan the moment he saw him, but the presence of a different lady from last time kept him in silence. Roshan then took a deep sigh and narrated his saga.
“It’s a long story. The woman that you saw last time was my wife. One morning, when I got up from my sleep, I found a letter lying next to me. It was written by her. She was nowhere around. The letter told me that she was going away forever, and I should not look for her.”
Rupak was intrigued. “What? Why? Did you guys have a fight?”
“No man. We were married for a decade, and we never fought.”
“How could she go away just like that? Did you do anything wrong? Was she in an affair with somebody else? Didn’t you look for her?” Rupak asked again.
“Man, we had a happy life. I loved her with all my heart. In fact, I have never loved anyone so dearly. Both our parents are long gone, and we had only each other in the world to love or care for. We had no friends and no relatives. We had just a few acquaintances and some office colleagues. So, we only had each other. I looked for her everywhere. She was not having any affairs. I rummaged through her office and all our contacts. Nobody could shed any light. Nobody knew and still doesn’t know. It has been three years now. The police said that they are still looking for her, but I doubt that. I had even hired a private detective. The chap still takes money from me and is on the lookout. The search is still on, but nothing has come to light till now. I have absolutely no idea, to date, why she disappeared. Did anybody threaten her? Was she abducted? I don’t know anything man. I still cannot believe her disappearance. Initially, I thought it was all a big joke. Maybe she was playing with me. But now I don’t have a moment’s peace. I cannot tell you how many nights I stayed awake crying and waiting for her return. I was hoping that she would return.”
Rupak couldn’t believe the story. He persisted with his inquiry. “How could somebody vanish just like that? What happened to her mobile phone, bank accounts, and other possessions?”
“She left her mobile phone at home, and it was found to be wiped clean. There were no contacts and no messages, and even the police crime department could not find anything. I called her bank, where she kept her accounts. A few days ago, she closed all her accounts. At her office, she had an arrangement as a consultant. Hence, nothing was deducted from her salary, and when she vanished, the last salary was already paid. Therefore, we can conclude that she had planned it all along. I have no idea why she did it or where she must have gone.” Roshan started crying.
Whether under the influence of alcohol or having found a fellow sufferer, Rupak too started crying. After some time, when both had shed enough tears in silence, Rupak blurted out his whole saga while some water still streamed down his cheek. Roshan listened to him in silence. After he had finished, Roshan took a deep sigh again and said,
“Buddy, I can feel you. If it can be a consolation, let me tell you this: at least you had closure. I know you are still deeply traumatized and will spend many more months in pain. But you know what happened, and there was nothing you could do. It was an accident, and although fate played you a rough hand, you could not have done anything personally. You still have a chance to start a new life. Look at me. You met my current girlfriend today. I found her at a de-addiction center, which I had joined after that incident. I became a drug addict a few months after that horrible day. My girlfriend was also an addict, but just like me, she has now recovered. But I can never marry her. I have understood that deep down in my heart, I still love my wife. I could never love anyone else. To be honest with you, I am still looking for her. I believe that I will find her someday.”
“What will happen to your current girlfriend once you find your wife? If at all you find her. I don’t want to cause you pain, but if somebody has voluntarily disappeared for whatever goddamn reason, chances are very slim that she will be found.”
“Ya, I know, buddy. But what is wrong with hoping? As for my current partner, we both know that our relationship is nothing serious. We don’t expect anything from it. She knows my past, and I know hers. So, we are fine with the casual nature of it.”
They parted ways quite late that night. When Rupak boarded the flight on his return journey, he didn’t know what to feel anymore. Roshan’s story made him intrigued, although he still felt suspicious about its authenticity. But there was no point checking the facts. Why would he? The guy was not his friend. Although they promised to remain in touch, in the long run, he knew that was not possible. However, the mountains had definitely lessened his grief. He felt a renewed hope. But was it enough? He decided to come back again to this hill station.
✸